Maybe. I ask you all to read and then maybe judge for yourselves (ahem, give me advice). As I said, plans with him were dependent on when friends of mine were coming into town ... both of them decided for different reasons to delay their trips so I became free. He called as I was getting into the shower and invited me to come out with him and two friends of his for dinner and drinks. Meeting the friends, eh? Sounds good to me! He did ask whether that was ok, or whether I wanted alone time. I told him that it would be fun to meet them and that I was down for whatever. So, I shined myself up and walked over to his place.
First: the 5 cats. And the destroyed, upholstered furniture to prove it as if the odor of the litter box wasn't enough evidence. Ok, ok, this sounds mean (which I don't intend, really) and to be fair, he did warn me that he hadn't really had a chance to make his place presentable for guests. So, I appreciate that and forgave him everything cat-related. One of the friends that we were meeting was already at his place and when we were introduced she made a comment about my work. Hmmm, I thought. Didn't read much into this but it made me feel good. We stood in the kitchen and chatted for a bit then walked to meet friend number two who was coming from a different part of town. Similar to friend number one, upon meeting friend number two she also mentioned how it was kinda cool and fun that he and I lived so close to each other ... again, good.
After several thwarted attempts at choosing a restaurant (ridiculous waits, etc.), we finally decided on an Italian-esque restaurant that I've always wanted to try, so I was pretty excited. We were told that our table would take about 10 minutes so we rolled to the bar for a drink to pass the time. I led the way towards the corner of the bar, where there was the lone open stool, and enough space for the four of us to stand and what did my eyes behold? Arm. Shoulder. Big. Strong. Tattooed.
Oh, Fuck.
Before I even saw his beautiful, chiseled face, I recognized the ink. It was Tattoos. I haven't seen him since January (please see Post Numero Uno: Celibacy) and was immediately rigid with surprise, I think is the best word. He was nursing an Amstel Light at the bar and chatting with a young, raven haired woman. My immediate thought: I'm soooo much prettier than her. Evil, I know. But we've all been there, right? My synapses fired at record speed trying to formulate a plan of action in the case that he turned around and recognized me. How would I explain this? How do I identify and introduce? How do I get the still vivid images of us out of my naughty little head?!?!? Thankfully, the hostess came to seat us within minutes and just before we walked to the table, he looked over. Our eyes met, his face turned beet red, and I smiled.
We sat at a table at the other end of the bar, again thankfully and the only other time I saw him was when he had to pass us to get to the restroom. He sort of sheepishly looked at me again and as I was mid conversation, I looked at him briefly and then looked away. He left shortly thereafter ... I must pause mid-story and address this random sighting. I'm still presently bothered by it. I remember being struck by him when we initially met. I remember being so attracted to him that the word 'control' seemed to have vanished from the English language and there was no stopping my forward motion towards his body. Damn. He is, was, and might always be the fucking sexiest man I've ever laid hands on. But, in that moment when he turned, saw me and blushed, that all went away. I didn't feel powerless to stop myself. I didn't feel seduced or turned on. I felt ... sad. I think his surprise guest appearance in my evening, even as brief and relatively insignificant as it was, reminded me of everyone I've met along this road. And they've all gone away. I don't even hear from the Dr. anymore.
As if this little interaction wasn't enough ... I look down and notice the red message light on my phone blinking. Like an evil little devil's eye. I discreetly looked at it under the table (I wasn't that discreet actually, and didn't feel the least bit bad about it because I was the only one at the table that hadn't securely planted my Blackberry right next to my salad fork) and saw that I had a message from a number not in my phone. I opened it and ... ghost of online dating past number two for the evening made his appearance. PTC/One Eye. Seriously? His message read that he knows this was out of the blue but that he'd sent me an email and could I please read it. SERIOUSLY?? I tried as hard as I could to forget about this for the moment so that I could get back to SNP, his friends, and the present date I should be enjoying.
And enjoy I did. His friends were both really lovely, very nice and easy to talk with. Our dinner was excellent and we decided afterward to have another drink at a bar I suggested down the street. I bought a round there and after they left, he and I had one more at another bar before walking home. Incidentally, after his friends left, one of them sent him a text saying that she'd had a fun night and that she really enjoyed meeting me and that I was "great and super cute." How sweet is that!! At that point, I'd forgotten all about Tattoos and PTC/One Eye and was just enjoying SNP's company, excited about how the night would end, hoping for more good make out and maybe an invite into his place.
We got to my place and he talked about the possibility of hanging out again that next day in the morning before my friends' anticipated arrivals. He said he'd call after I was done with my morning workout. Then he said, "You're fun." I kind of laughed and said thank you, I think, I can't really remember. We leaned in for the kiss and it was weak and sort of lame. Nowhere near as intense and passionate as the awesome one the night before. At that moment, I felt this creeping discomfort, like something had changed without warning. I had this sinking feeling in my stomach that I was getting blown-off, given the combo of the weak smooch and the weird "You're fun" comment. We said goodnight and I walked up the stairs to my front door feeling sad, confused, and ... weird.
This morning, after hearing from friend number one that she'd be arriving soon, I called him and left a message saying that I unfortunately couldn't hang out. He called back and didn't leave a message. I called him back and he answered immediately. I again apologized for not being able to hang out and he said that it was okay, that he probably wouldn't have been able to anyway because he'd just woken up. He asked me how my workout was and after some more idle small talk, he said he'd call me later or "sometime soon". I said ok and hung up, again feeling that sense of blow-off.
So, here's where I need advice. On the one hand, I have learned through these dating experiences that my gut is typically right. Here, my gut says that he's pulling back. Maybe because he needs some breathing room ... we have, after all, only known each other for a week and we've gone out now three times in addition to the night we met and have communicated everyday (for the record, all at his initiation). Maybe he's pulling back because the initial excitement he felt upon meeting me has faded and he's evaluating whether he wants to continue to see me or not. I'm going on a trip soon and he will be traveling for work for two weeks so this would be an ideal time to go AWOL if he feels so inclined. Maybe I freaked him out somehow ... On the other hand, is telling someone they're fun a bad thing? Am I reading too much into that comment? And maybe the kiss wasn't intense because he was feeling tired or otherwise off. He did say a few times on the way home that he was sleepy. Maybe he just wanted to get home and hit the hay.
A little bit of additional info that might be useful in assessing this case: as my friend and I were coming home this afternoon from window shopping, we ran into him on the sidewalk on our street. We chatted for a couple minutes after introductions were made and he commented that he liked the jacket I was wearing, that it was cute. So, that's positive. He knows that my friend was here and he knows that I will be attending a wedding tomorrow so if he decides to call me again, I don't anticipate hearing from him until next week. If I don't, I'm not calling him. I feel that the best course of action here is to let him chase me and make his move when/if he wants to. I'm a lot of things but desperate and clingy are not on that list.
What do you guys think? Does it sound like I'll hear from him again or is my gut right?
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I think it is too early to tell.
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