3/19/09 - Break up :(

So, Thursday night, I sent Backpack packing. It was incredibly difficult. I didn't know what to say. I appreciate the advice of Wanderfull and only wish I'd read it before I called him. He seemed down, yet again, so I asked about his job scene, etc. Really I was just delaying the inevitable. I spent all weekend and the beginning of that week politely responding to him but not encouraging communication...I also spent that time trying to figure out a humane, yet honest way of letting him know I didn't want to see him anymore. Two options rose to the top. Option One: tell him straight up that I didn't want t take thing further, that he was a really great guy, blah, blah, blah ... Option two: lie. Tell him that I'd met someone else, and that we decided to be serious. Only prob with Option Two is that if he were to stalk me down on our shared dating website, he'd be able to see that I was still active, he'd assume I lied to him, and he'd think I was an evil bitch. Now, on some level, I didn't really care what he thought or didn't think of me but I am a big believer in dating karma. Therefore, I try as hard as I can to be kind, gracious, and understanding when possible. Please see last post. If I was really a bitch, that date would have lasted approximately five minutes, instead of 38.

I had firmly decided on Option One, had done some positive self talk that day, psyched myself up for the conversation and the second he picked up the line, it all went out the window. Ladies and Gentleman, please allow me to introduce you to Option Two. I know, I know ... not super admirable but I totally freaked out and just needed to tell him. And it just came out. I met someone before him ... last weekend we decided to be serious ... not seeing other people ... I'm really sorry ...

Oh God, it was awful.

I've never had to break up with anyone. February was the month of Backpack and I really enjoyed every second I had with him. I just realized in the end that I didn't want to have sexy time with him and that was that. I saw him this past Sunday in a store in our neighborhood and after all the blood rushed to my face and I was able to exercise control over my legs, I pushed my little cart as fast as possible into the laundry detergent aisle and hid like a child. Luckily, I met a friend (Hi sK!!) and she saved me from a potentially, no certainly, horribly awkward social situation.