UPDATE: DR. IS CRAZYTOWN

So, back to the saga of the Dr. Unfortunately, I'm fairly certain that this will be the last post which involves news of the Dr. unless I decide to publish the post which describes how I ran him down with my car in a fit of rage. Kidding, kidding ... I don't want to mess up my car ...

As you all know, I've been having very sexy texts (which, according to NPR is now known in the teen community as 'sexting' and typically involves the sending of sexy texts and naked pics via cell phone ... these kids these days!) with the Dr. for what seems like, and probably actually is, months. I haven't seen the little jerk since January 19th, on the cusp of the Glory of Obama. I WAS sad about this ... not anymore.

Last weekend, during a nice, introspective moment walking down the sidewalk on the way to buying some tasty groceries, I saw the Dr. running. We passed right by each other, he distracted by his run, and me, shocked at first that I was actually laying eyes on him, didn't process that it was him until it was too late to turn and get his attention. So, after consultation with a friend about how this little chance sighting was making me feel sort of icky and sad, I decided to send a text (non-sexy) just to say that I saw him and to see what he was up to. Very, very benign. He wrote back immediately and asked me what I was up to. I was at the gym and then headed to a BBQ (to eat the best chicken I've ever had in my life ... and I don't eat chicken ... Sarah rocks!!) and asked whether he wanted to, and I quote, "hang out later that night." Get that? I asked to HANG OUT.

His response? And I quote again, "Sorry. I've given up sex for Lent (not that I was getting any anyway)". I'm sorry. What?? Did I say anything about sex, sexytime, fucking, getting it on, going over there and throwing myself at him?? NO!! Pompous Ass!! I wrote back after reflecting for several minutes about how best to respond and said that I just thought it would be fun to get a drink and catch up, but thanks for the info. Slightly bitchy? Good, that's what I was going for. Haven't heard back from him, which is good for multiple reasons. First, he might move imminently, so nothing would have happened anyway. Second, he is totally unreliable because of his wacky schedule. Third, he was sort of a coward. Sure, hand him a phone and he's all brave and dirty but in person all he could muster was a kiss on the cheek. Finally, it wasn't going anywhere anyway but was taking up some space in my pre-historic dating brain, so better to clear that space for someone who may actually become something.

And if you're keeping a tally at this point, this is now the third person who has given me some BS excuse to not see me. The first is not someone I've written about, but who told me that he had to go to church on a Saturday night in response to my question about whether he was free to grab a beer. The second was obviously the celibacy freakshow. I know that it shouldn't but it makes me question whether I'm being too pushy, too desperate, putting out some sort of vibe that is making these fellows run for the hills. Or if the problem is them ... that even though they are 30+ years old and are professionals and adult in all other ways, they cannot seem to tell a girl that they just aren't interested. What do they think I'm going to do? Cry, scream, make a big scene? Get over yourself!!! You're not that great. The truth is appreciated and expected. And I'm disappointed. Yet again.

Little jerk ... I hope he falls down and scrapes his pasty white knee.