I thought it would be nice to give some follow-up for the dates I've had each month so you guys know who's been a one hit wonder, who's made a random reappearance, and who's disappeared without a trace. Here are the updates for the fellows I met in January:
Date One - Celibacy: disappeared without a trace. Guess he was serious about that celibacy thing. Either that or he got back together with the XGF and they're out somewhere happily walking their dog together. Lucky them. UPDATE TO UPDATE: or the fucker is back on the online dating site where we met, still trolling for women to help him get over his recently "concluded" three years long relationship!!!! Active within 24 hours!!! ASSHOLE!!
Date Two - Really??: he disappeared and then randomly reappeared about a week later with a series of text messages asking how I was, what I was doing, how work was going ... I didn't respond.
Date Three/Four - Second Date: after attempting to smooch me in his car during drop off, he also disappeared. Have not heard from him but after I googled him and discovered that he was engaged to someone last February (saw the newspaper announcement, complete with picture so no doubt it was him), I'm thinking that maybe he wasn't ready and was using this process to date through his pain. No thanks! BTW: I do not recommend Googling dates. It only leads to problems. This guy is the only one of these fellows I've Googled. I do not, as a practice, try to play private detective and discover the skeletons in these guys' closets. Maybe that's stupid but doing pre-date investigation makes me feel, well, icky. UPDATE TO UPDATE: this one is also still online and active within 24 hours. Clearly, I need to not spy on these people post-interaction because it just pisses me off. I'll stop.
Date Five/Six - Laughter and Conversation Death: he disappeared. I think he sensed that I wasn't interested and cut his losses. It's cool.
Date Seven - Doctor: well, see Date Eleven that never happened. He told me that he once again resumes night duty this month so I'm hoping that he'll make another appearance with the spring thaw in March. Or he'll move across the country. Who knows?
Date Eight - Short Stories: he has texted me twice telling me that he's out with friends at places near me and invited me to come along. Most recently last night. I've declined both times but think the next time I'll go, because he was really interesting and hey, maybe he has a cool friend I could meet?? You never know!! I think he feels the friend vibe also so I wouldn't feel weird about it. Additionally, we've exchanged some emails including one telling me to read about the history of cod (fascinating!!) and another telling me that he's done with the online dating thing (after only one month ... lightweight) and giving me his personal email to contact him. Cool, maybe I will.
Date Nine - Joaquin: see Date Fourteen post. Also, I heard from a friend that the hard core rap performed by Joaquin was 'performance art'. Phew!!
Date Eleven - Never Happened: see above, Date Seven.
Date Ten/Twelve/Thirteen - BEST DATES EVER: can you sense the despair? After some really nice text messages on Sunday (the day we parted ways at his apartment door), this one has disappeared and I'm battling heartache and confusion. I know I only saw him three times and I know I didn't really know him and I know that this is a process, blah, blah, blah ... but this one really hurts because I cannot think of one red flag, one mistake I may have made, one clue that he revealed which would have caused me to suspect that he would fall off the face. Did he look at the leftover risotto that we made the night before sitting there on the stove and decide that even though we both acknowledged the fact that we had an eerily amazing connection, he could just walk away? Who knows? Maybe he freaked out. Maybe he just broke up with someone. Maybe he just didn't want to let me in. Maybe he decided that I was too much and would shake up a life that he had pretty under control (sometimes I think that). But!!! I can't let myself wonder too much because then the craziness will start.
So, I'm deciding that today, the date of this posting, his birthday (last communication was a text sent by me yesterday wishing him a happy early birthday to which he has not, at this point, responded), is the day that I get to be sad. Tomorrow is a new day and I gotta move on. There are more people to meet, more dates to have, and more adventures to write about.
But I'm so sad. Wondering whether I can ever really believe that anyone is truly interested. This man said things to me that made colleagues, friends, hell, random strangers overhearing my conversation swoon and react by saying things like, "I wish my BF/Husband would say things like that." Disappointment is overwhelming. Today I get to be sad. Tomorrow, I get to look forward to a brunch date Sunday. And, I plan to revamp my little online profile hoping that I get more responses and can keep the fire of my dating life stoked and by extension, provide more stories for my little blog!! Recovery ...
Please look for this post at the end/beginning of every month.
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hang in there. but you can be sad and if you hear from him mad. i was wondering what was going on....
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