4/28/09 - Date Forty Two: PTC is an Ahole

Yes. An A-hole. I don't want to see him again and I think I might do the unthinkable and disappear on this guy without an explanation because all I really want to do is yell at him and punch him right in his f-ing stupid, one-eyed, PTC face. Here's what happened:

This is date six (I think) with PTC and I had previously decided that this was the make or break date for him. Either he was going to make a move or not and depending on that, I'd decide whether to see him again. Well, he didn't make a move and I do not want to see him again. I'm not looking for a buddy here, people ... as the title of the blog indicates I'm looking for a man. To love. To have a physical, adult relationship with. Hopefully for a long period of time. I'm basically dating so I can meet someone and stop dating. Weird. I just thought about that. Huh.

Anyway. Moving on. I'm not looking for a buddy and up until now, PTC has not made it clear to me what he wants from me other than an activity partner or an ear on the phone to listen to him bitching about stuff: the homeless people in the library, the 'snobby' people that reside in our city, etc. I have realized over the course of the time that we've known each other that he really likes to complain about stuff and it's really very unattractive. I received a phone call last week where he spent 20 minutes complaining about the homeless people in the library and how they were invading "his" space. I hung up annoyed and kind of pissed off. But ... we had plans to play ping pong (or table tennis, for those of you out there who are PC minded. Apparently, ping pong is not PC) and I was excited at least for that so I let go of the annoyance and left myself open to the possibilities of the evening.

He picked me up and we drove to the place and had a great time for the first hour or so playing around, laughing, goofing off, watching the little kids chase each other and have their own little games. He remarked on how fast I picked up the game and asked me whether I'd played recently. Of course I hadn't but I was flattered at his compliments. All in all, things were going really well. At one point, he wanted to show me something on his phone and he patted the seat next to him for me to come over and sit ... an encouraging sign, I thought. We decided that we were hungry and this place had amazing looking and smelling pizza so we abandoned the pong to the children, grabbed a seat in the restaurant, and ordered some salads and a pie.

FYI: for anyone who lives in my city, I highly recommend this place. Super fun, really great food, decent happy hour drink specials. A bit annoying with the kiddies running around but a totally fun and different places for a night out. And the pong is free if you find a ball laying around, or 50 cents from the ping pong ball machine. I definitely think I'll try to go back at some point ... with friends. PTC is dead to me.

Why you ask? Well, over dinner the conversation evolved, I don't remember how exactly, into a situation where he began attacking me and what I do for a living. This quickly expanded into a generalized rant about how ridiculous it is for you (as in collective society) to help a stranger because at all times, you should be doing things to enrich yourself. Then, the nail in the coffin, he asked me whether I'd ever read Ayn Rand. Done and done. RED FLAG. Huge red flag. He began spouting off about objectivity and how I was naive and idealistic and illogical for doing what I do for a living. I was completely shocked that I was being attacked like this over pizza in a fucking bar on a date and was literally speechless. He noticed this, stopped yapping for two seconds, looked at my with his stupid one eye (which he'd switched from the left to the right, BTW) and asked me why I wasn't defending myself. I said that I didn't know what to say and continued to hope against hope that somehow the universe would feel my pain and discomfort and somehow bend the rules of time and space and transport me magically home, away from PTC, away from this horrible conversation, so I could just move on with my Ayn Rand free existence and forget this had ever happened.

But, no dice. I was stuck there. With him continuing to verbally flog my career choice and bait me to fight back. This is not something that I want to ever have happen on a date. I enjoy a nice debate, a little good natured argument, sure, but when someone basically tells me that what I've chosen to do with my life is stupid and naive, I'm all fucking set. I could not wait to get out of there. He paid, I offered nothing, and we left in silence. Thankfully the relocation from the dinner table to the car provided a momentary respite form his rantings but they unmercifully continued in the car on the way home.

I got out of the car at my house, said goodbye to PTC, and practically ran into my building, still reeling from the turn this date had taken. Now, here's the question: what do I do? I want to just disappear on this one because I feel like this date was so bad that any explanation I might give him as to why I don't want to see him again would, if honest, be just so mean that it's not necessary to put that out into the dating ether. However, I also fear dating karma enough that I feel nervous to just disappear without a word. Guys, I need advice here. What do I do?? Obviously, it would be great if he were to just quietly disappear but somehow I doubt that will happen.

Please help.