Here's a Stumper ... MseDater needs you!!!

As I said in another, earlier post The Gentleman is back. About a week or so after I got the email telling me that the XGF had resurfaced and he was going to see what was up with her, I got a random text from him asking me where he could get a particular food in my neighborhood. I was confused, surprised, a little happy ... I wrote back and we had a few more messages that evening. Then he went dark again and I resumed my low grade mourning for him and obviously proceeded on with other dates. Then about a week and a half after that I get another text message, "Hi, how r u?" On a sidenote, what in the hell is the deal with people not spelling shit out?? It really kind of annoys me, especially if you're somebody who has recently jilted me for an XGF and is now, seemingly, trying to get back into the scene. The least you could do is use fully formed words, ya know?

Anyway, again I was surprised, confused, a little happy. I wrote back that I was fine and told him a bit about my weekend plans. We continued on quite innocently playing catch-up via text for a couple hours during which I left work, went to the gym, got home and was getting ready to meet JS for the tree lecture. At one point I told him that even though I probably shouldn't tell him this, whenever I have a new food adventure/experience I find myself wanting to let him know but then feel sad that I can't. Yes, maybe TMI but I couldn't stop myself. He responded by saying that he similarly shouldn't tell me that he has been having dreams about me, some involving "adult situations" (his words, not mine). Interesting, I said to myself. I was intrigued and encouraged by this little revelation, yet it also immediately resulted in me putting the guard up as I didn't really have any information about his status. I asked him, point blank, about the XGF and he told me that they had a fight a couple weeks before and left it at that.

This conversation concluded with me telling him I was on my way out (to meet JS) and with him asking me whether I was free that weekend to get a drink. I told him that I was going out of town to see a friend but would be able to maybe do something Sunday evening. He said ok and we agreed to chat later about specifics.

Unfortunately through a series of SNAFUs, we did not get together Sunday evening. This lead me to having way too much gin, though having a really great time doing it, so yay!! I expressed my disappointment at not being able to see him and he told me that he was otherwise free every night this week. Well, as you've hopefully just read, I was not. Had the ill fated dates with Blah guy and PTC at the beginning of this week, so I told him I was free today, Wednesday. We've been emailing today and have agreed that he'll pick me up tonight around 8 and we'll have some type of ethnic food somewhere in my neighborhood ...

How do I feel? Well, that's an interesting and complicated question. I feel really excited. I feel really nervous, yet calm at the same time because I feel comfortable with him. I feel scared that this is a very, very bad situation and that I'm getting my hopes up for nothing. I'm scared that he is still trying to see XGF but they had a fight and while things are up in the air with them, he's decided to contact me and use me as a get-away from her until things resolve themselves. I'm nervous that all he is really interested in is resuming a physical relationship with me, given the dream and adult situations comment. I'm nervous that he'll convince me that he's safe to continue seeing and then BOOM!! I'll get screwed again. My fear comes from the situation, for sure, but as my close friends know, it also comes a bit from my last relationship which was very unhealthy and messed up and ended with him telling me that he'd gotten someone else pregnant. Great guy. Additionally, and this is the relevant part to my current situation with The Gentleman, he was seeing his XGF the entire time we were together and I refused to see that for what it was. So, in that situation, I was also very stupid.

So, the strategy for tonight is to meet him. Have fun. Relax. Enjoy him, the food, the moment ... and get as much information as possible about where he is, where she is, and consequently where I am. Because if she's still around for him, I cannot make myself an option. Period. So, a plea for whomever reads this to send vibes of strength and sisterhood tonight so I maintain my composure and protect myself form being convenient. I'll surely post about what happens and would really appreciate outside perspectives, no matter how harsh or honest. In fact, the more honest the better.

I really like this one and feel trouble a'brewin. We'll see ...