4/15/09 - Date Forty Six: Ping Pong (Again)

Ya know, I always knew that I was habit oriented and have the tendency to easily and comfortably fall into routine behavior. It is only now, after writing these past few entries, that I realize how true that is. When I go on a date to a fun place, I sort of can't help but suggest to another different person that we go there, too. This is what happened with JS last Friday. I suggested that we meet for ping pong at the same spot where things went oh so wrong with PTC.

After some ridiculous email negotiations about time, mode of transportation, etc. we agreed that he'd pick me up at 7:30 and we'd drive up there with me acting as navigator. He came down the street and honked, catching me adjusting my bra (awesome) and I bounded to the car, excited to see him. This is date three with JS and the second I got in his car, I remembered how absolutely cute and wonderful he is. He had neatly folded MapQuest directions in the cup holder (something I would totally do, BTW) and seemed a bit nervous about driving. I quickly stepped in and gave turn by turn directions, getting us there in no time. He's a good driver, not too aggressive. The windows were down and the warm breeze filled the car. He had some good mixed CDs playing (yes, mixed CDs ... think he felt nervous about that, too as he made multiple comments about his iPod being broken ... I thought the CDs were cute and told him so) and we enjoyed the Friday night drive uptown.

We got to the place and were immediately bowled over by crazy, pizza and soda-filled children running around, chasing ping pong balls, battling each other with paddles, screaming, yelling, TOTAL insanity. I looked at him, he looked at me, and we both simultaneously, silently walked to the bar. He got a Gin/Tonic and I a Vodka/Soda and armed with alcohol we re-entered the juvenile fray and secured a table. A couple savvy little kids tried to sneak in while he was buying the balls, but I held my own with drink in hand and a stern teacher stare glaring down on them like a laser beam. He returned and we played for as long as we could but it was really hard to concentrate with all the kids everywhere and the aroma of the tasty pizza tempting us with every breath.

We abandoned our table to some kids and their Dad (who had, by the way, been giving us evil stares all night ... do we or do we not also have the right to play ping pong as two consenting adults? He's just jealous we didn't roll up in a stinky minivan filled with old, crusty Cheerios, dog hair, and little brats) and went outside to get some food. We sat on the patio at the front of the restaurant and ordered two pies and a couple more drinks. This guy is great. I feel totally comfortable with him. We have talked about everything ... weddings, Xs, family, what we think about our experiences with our chosen online dating website. It's just easy and good and I really enjoy it.

There's only one thing I wonder about this guy, though. He makes no contact in between dates and he's made no moves. He's like PTC in that way ... on this date, he touched my arm a couple times and I always get the amazing goodnight hug but he's not tried to give a little kiss or anything. I contemplated this as we were winding down dinner and wondering what if anything, I should suggest for our next location. Given the fact that he was driving, I didn't really think a bar would be good. So, we got ice cream. This guy LOVES ice cream. Dangerous for me but different and therefore, good. We drove a couple miles up the road, stopped at the first Ben&Jerry's we saw, got a couple cones, and people watched on a bench outside. In that moment, while he was describing how much he loves to lick ice cream and I watched his tongue slide over his scoop of cold, creamy, sweet goodness, two conflicting thoughts struggled for dominance in my brain: one, I wondered, lustily, how it would feel for him to lick me and two, that it would be great to grow old with him and sit on a porch somewhere and listen to the night bugs.

What? I shook my head to rattle the thoughts away and he noticed, asking me what was wrong. I said nothing and we continued to eat our treats, while I fought my little, private inner struggle. We walked back to his car and he drove me home. It wasn't late but it wasn't early either and I had yet again made the mistake of going to the gym pre-date, post-work and was exhausted. Now we get to the drop-off, probably my most hated part of any date. Especially when you haven't broken the kiss barrier. The mind reels in the quick minutes between the car stopping and you opening the door and getting out: what will he do? Do I want him to do anything? What do I do? Am I brave enough to do something? What if we miss each other's mouth and I end up with a mouthful of nose? Or eyebrow? Or chin? How embarrassing would that be!! But, turns out that none of this ended up having any consequence because he yet again gave me the great hug and said he had a great time and suggested that we go to a baseball game soon. I said I'd love it and shut the door. He drove away and I walked inside feeling somewhat disappointed.

Why no goodnight kiss? The car was the perfect opportunity ... I was sending the signals all night. I really want him to just do it so we can move on and keep seeing each other and maybe get a little more intimate and comfortable. As I have the anxiety about this, I remind myself that I really don't know this person and maybe he was nervous. Maybe he's scared of the same things i wrote above. Maybe, even though he's a beautiful, intelligent, funny, sarcastic, stable man, he is also a teenage kid who's nervous around the pretty girl. Well, with that I flatter myself for sure but maybe, right? After our date, I wrote him one text message randomly the next day and haven't heard back. We'll see ... there's something going on with this one. I'm both intrigued and a little nervous. Hopefully the nervousness is unfounded and there will be a baseball game in my future!!