Ok, ok ... I'm not quitting

I just needed to get the negativity that resulted from that last interaction out of my system. I wrote that last terribly horribly emotionally fractured post mere minutes after WTF disappeared, typing through the blur of fresh tears running down my face. Now, here I am on the last day of a three day weekend and I'm feeling much better about things. This weekend was sunny and warm. Public pools have opened and there were hoards of cyclists, runners, shoppers, walkers, and all manner of other peoples present in my city this weekend. A good friend of mine came to visit me from out of town and offered some sage advice. I had good food (mushroom fajitas), good drinks (gin gimlets), and bought a beautiful sterling silver ring that I can't afford. Retail therapy does wonders.

I'm still upset that I got ditched on the street corner like a piece of trash ... I'm still quietly (and sometimes, very loudly) questioning why, why, WHY this is my lot in life ... why I have to roam alone ... Why, even though I'm trying my damndest, I still cannot seem to meet someone who is NORMAL ... why I seem to be doomed to relationship tragedy while it seems that everyone around me has found happiness in some form with someone else (I know three people who are planning weddings right now). I'm not begrudging these folks their happiness, for sure, but am a little sad when I look around my city on a sunny, breezy beautiful Saturday afternoon and am visually bombarded by couples eating brunch, couples window shopping, couples holding hands, couples running together, couples, couples, COUPLES!!!! It's almost enough to make a single, hard datin' gal scream right out loud. Or put a sign on that says the following: Hi. I'm normal, healthy, smart, and obviously attractive. Please give me a chance. Magicians need not apply. I refer to the losers I've dated collectively as 'magicians' because they show up unexpectedly, have a neato bag of tricks that entertains, entrances, mystifies, then just when you're hooked on the show and can't wait for the next act, they disappear, never to be heard from again. Beware the Magician.

But, no screaming. And no sign (because that would obviously be totally insane). I will move on. I will forget about WTF and all the others (Tattoos, BEST DATE EVER, The Gentleman, PTC, to name a few) and date on like the champion that I am. I was actually out last night with a couple friends for a couple drinks before a late live show and we were at a bar I'd only been to once before, a long time ago. We walked in, grabbed some seats in the middle of the action near the pool table, and while I was looking around, assessing the scene, I started thinking that it would a great place for a date. I had this thought in spite of myself because I was still trying to stew in my sad, pissed off juices.

At that moment, thinking about how fun it would be to hang out at this place with, oh, I don't know, JS perhaps, and play a game of darts over a couple drinks, I realized that the fog had lifted ... I had moved on and gotten over it, without really wanting to or even trying.

The following is always on my mind: if a man were to relate a story about going out with me truthfully and accurately with no exaggerations to a group of his buddies or perhaps a family member, would I seem normal or crazy? Would I come across as relationship material or as a cast away, a throw back? Would these friends and family members encourage or discourage a continued interaction with me? This, I have found, is a very good rule to keep in mind when dating.

And if WTF were to relate the events of Friday night to someone, truthfully and accurately, he for sure comes off as a total headcase and I would not bear any responsibility for the trainwreck that happened on that street corner.

So, I'm ok. Until the next tragedy. Hey, at least it's entertaining, right?