Hmmm...how do I say this?

The Gentleman is dead to me. Here's what happened:

Approx. 10 a.m. - text messages begin, initiated by him, about plans for the night, time, place, etc.
Approx. 11 a.m. - response from me giving suggestions for place, time.
Approx 12 p.m. - response from him accepting my suggestion and firming up plans to meet at a particular restaurant at a particular time for dinner and drinks.
Later, throughout the afternoon, some emails, a few more text messages - pretty constant communication.

I finish my work day, excited that we're going out and steeling myself for the conversation about the XGF that I have promised myself I would have with him. I go to the gym, have a lovely workout, come home and decide that because the weather is sooo nice and the restaurant we'd chosen has a large outside patio, I should probably just call to see whether a reservation for an outside table can be made. I'm sitting on my couch, in my bathrobe, having just googled the place for the phone number. The phone number has been dialed and it's ringing. Beep. Beep. Beep. A text message has just come through. I look at my cell and see that it's from him. I hang up and view the message.

Sent at 4:56 p.m. - "I can't do this dear. The person I am dating is someone I'd dated before. And we still hang out and I don't want to lead u along a road that could go anywhere."

Response, sent at 4:58 p.m. - "Ok. Don't call me again. I could get very attached to you and can't do that if you're unavailable. Why did you try to see me again? I don't get it ..."

His response, sent at 5:05 p.m. - "I thought wrong about myself and my situation. And I do like u and find u attractive."

I went dark at this point. No response. There will never be a response.

Shit. Where do I start here ... ok, let's start with the fact that all day long he was making plans with ME for dinner. Choosing places, times, where and how we'd meet. We planned to meet at 7:30. So, T-minus two and a half hours before dinnertime, he decides that he can't do it. And he calls me "dear". I think that if he'd left the "dear" out of the message I at the very least wouldn't have felt like I was being talked down to and pitied. How condescending is that? And, and, AND!!! "I like u and find u attractive"!!!! Are you fucking kidding me? A) Totally irrelevant to the fact that you have actually LEAD ME ALONG and have GONE DOWN A ROAD with me ... and B) of course you find me attractive, I AM FUCKING ATTRACTIVE, asshole!! In fact I might be the best thing that's ever happened to you, but because your head is inextricably lodged tightly in your flat, little man ass, you can't see that. And I have no time for foolish men who don't see me. This is the last lesson I need to learn on this point, thanks.

Ok, so, my initial reaction was complete and utter pissedoffedness. I rolled to my shower where I discovered that somehow I had no hot water. Awesome. Took a cold shower and walked to a friend's house, celebrated her completion of graduate school with a couple drinks, then walked to the restaurant where The Gentleman and I were supposed to meet, ordered some tilapia to go, and enjoyed it at my house in my jammies. It tasted really good. Is that weird?

Anyway, this morning I woke up, still with no hot water. I discovered that I'm more upset about that than I am about this guy. He's a mess, completely and totally, 100% a mess and I'm not looking for that. And, as if he somehow knew that I needed some ray of sunshine, SpryGuy randomly texted me last night to say hi. I also heard from the Dr. who is on his way for a beach weekend. I told him that I expect to receive some pics of his hot, tanned abdomen. I think he might oblige. By the time I got home with my fish, finished texting the Dr. and SpryGuy, I had sort of gotten over my pissedoffedness and was ready for a nice, recuperative sleep. And that sleep I had. I'm now in my place waiting for someone to fix my hot water heater and mulling over my role in this whole situation.

Her are my thoughts, in brief: I let this happen. There is no excuse for his behavior, of course, but I allowed him to come back because I had the audacity to hope that he was coming back for me and had left her. I chickened out and didn't get any information because I was afraid to rock the boat, piss him off, seem like I was prying, etc. I cannot let this happen again. So, the rules have changed. I can no longer trust these people implicitly. I can no longer hold back and not ask questions. A lovely friend of a friend told me last night about a book she just bought that she's really enjoying. Don't laugh now ... it's called 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man'. It's by comedian, Steve Harvey. I know, I know but we looked through it last night and I am buying this book. Like, today.

In closing, I must say I'm a bit sad that this chapter of my dating life is over. But glad, too because I feel like I have learned my lesson about giving the unavailable man another chance. He deserves no chances. He is a waste of time. I'm meeting SpryGuy tonight and will do my best to have fun with him and not think constantly about how he'll screw me over, too. Ok, plumber is on the way to fix my hot water ... gotta fly.

See you guys soon!