1/14/09 Date Five: Strange Laughter

Having not heard from second date guy made me a little blue for a couple days. But, one must press on. And the best way to do this is to meet someone new and focus on that positive possibility. The vast majority of these people are one hit wonders so you can't focus on one person. This is something I will try very hard to do this year. 

So, I made a date with someone I'd been emailing for a couple weeks. Now generally I've found it best to meet these people pretty soon after you make contact. A friend who did this for over a year gave me some sage advice on this point. She said that if you wait, emailing ad nauseum, when you finally do meet, there's this false sense of intimacy that can sometimes mess things up. I have found this to be true. This guy was an exception though, because he and I began communicating while we were both out of town visiting family for the holidays. He then got stuck where he was for medical reasons and we had no other communication options. Again, men hate the phone so I had to be satisfied with the email. 

We met for dinner at his suggestion (I suggested the venue, considering location and price). I noticed several things about him right off the bat: he looked slightly different and better than his pictures, he was wearing no hat, coat, scarf, or gloves even though it was below freezing outside, and he had a really nice smile, with really white teeth. Bizarre things to notice I know,  but this was the first impression. During dinner we talked about work, family, the city which we both call home, travel, living overseas ... a variety of topics. One thing stood out for me during this conversation. He laughed, but awkwardly, and not in the right places in the conversation. Now, it's been my experience that only two kinds of people do this: crazy people and nervous people. Since I had no reason to believe he was actively experiencing symptoms of a mental illness at the dinner table, I comfortably assumed he was just nervous. More evidence of nervousness: looking away during the conversation, fumbling with the bill when it came, tripping over the chair as we got up to leave. 

This may sound a little evil and I don't want to leave that impression but whenever I'm out with someone who's this nervous and flummoxed by me, it always makes me smile a little on the inside. Not because I'm relishing in their anxiety but because it's kind of nice to be presented with outside evidence that you're smart/pretty/engaging/witty. Otherwise why would they be nervous? It's because you're awesome and they're stunned by the fact that they are sitting across from you and you're paying attention. This is why dating is fun. 

He walked me home (the opposite direction from his place, so check plus) and we had a nice hug at my door. It was nice because it was not loose or limp and he sort of held on a little bit at the end. Now, I will reveal the following tidbit of personal info and then never mention it again: on a first date, with regard to physical contact, I tend toward one of two extremes. Either a polite, post-date hug or a night of passionate, funky, animal sex. I know, I know ... we're taught not to do this on the first date. To give up the milk before the cow, or however that saying goes but sometimes when it's right, it's right and you need to give yourself the freedom as an adult to break the rules. Not all the time. Sometimes.  

The end of this date was not one of those times. However, I could imagine that time happening with this person so when he emailed early the next morning asking me out again (and telling me I was gorgeous, WAHOO!!) I gladly accepted. We're watching football this Sunday. This will be Date Six of 2009. All in all, I think things are going pretty well so far, don't you?