In the beginning ...

So, I decided to join a popular online dating site a little over 6 months ago. The reasons I joined were various: I have no single girlfriends and therefore don't have as many opportunities to go out and meet people "organically" as I used to. I also thought that meeting random strangers for dinner or drinks or some other activity where socializing is forced would be good for me personally. Finally and most importantly, I really was hoping that I would meet someone with whom I could fall in love, hunker down, and start planning the rest of my life. 

I've had a lot of dates in the last 6 months. Most of them have been fine, moderately to highly entertaining. I've been wined and dined and I've honestly loved every minute of it. Ok, well, that's not entirely true. There have been moments of pain, anxiety, confusion, even panic. But I've decided to soldier on if only for the reason that I can't seem to cancel the damn subscription before it automatically renews again and I'm forced to participate for another three months because the practical side of me must get my money's worth. But, I digress ...

As I said, I've had a lot of dates and met quite a few very interesting men. There have been contractors and government workers and writers and doctors. Well, only one doctor. Believe me ladies, if you think that dating a doctor is the dream, wake up. The schedule is terrible and dates are constantly getting canceled because someone is dying. It's not worth it, promise. Now most of these men have been first dates and that's it. There have been however a few people that have hung around awhile longer and then things have fizzled out for one reason or another. Most because they turned out to be psychos and emotionally unavailable or tortured or damaged and because my fatal flaw is always giving people too many chances, I'm really good at (or bad) at ignoring red flags and proceeding full steam ahead anyway only to have things come crashing down at the last. But, I digress again ... 

Well, it's a new year and what do we all do in the beginning of a new year? We make promises to ourselves that we wholeheartedly intend on keeping with the purpose of promoting personal growth and encouraging positivity. I resolve here and now to date. To date hard and good. To date with my brain and my heart in equal measure, not allowing one to overtake and squash the other. I resolve to find the good in total strangers while we share awkward conversation over an overpriced mediocre meal. I resolve to love myself enough to let go of jerks, users, losers, guys not over their ex's, non-communicators, the unemployed, and freak shows.  

Finally, ladies, I resolve to use this experience as a means to become a better dater. And along the way hopefully a better woman. Welcome! I hope you enjoy my adventures along with me as I begin my quest for love in 2009.