1/2/09 - Date One: Celibacy??

I returned to town after being home with family and friends for the holidays to find an invite for a date from someone that was a holdover from 2008. There are very few of these ... they are a rare animal. The invite came via text message. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that men do not like the phone. It's like they think picking one up and actually talking on it will kill them or something. When the text message was invented and began to enjoy widespread use, men must have collectively cheered as that meant they would never, ever again have to pick up the phone and make a call. But to get to the story ...

The text was an invite for drinks the next night. I accepted because this particular 2008 holdover is a standout. A knockout. A shining star of a man. He's big, tall, strong, smart, well-read, articulate. Tattooed. Ooooh ... I know, I know, it's too much. He once carried me to my apartment ... I couldn't stand it!! Anyway, we met for drinks and dinner (last minute change of plans) and had a great time as expected. After that date, we exchanged other messages and I thought that perhaps the fire that started in 2008 would yet again re-ignite with this fine example of a man. 

Wrong. So, so, so wrong was I. Last Sunday, quite unexpectedly the text messages started at an early hour. So, here I was sitting over breakfast having a wonderfully lively text conversation when there it came. The text of all confusion. Out of nowhere, out of the blue, he tells me that he has decided to be "celebate" (his spelling, not mine ... idiot) for the remainder of 2009. I nearly dropped the phone. What is my response here? Why is he telling me this? Is this some kind of test to figure out what my intentions are? Or possibly a very creative and bizarre way to blow me off and put the brakes on our recently rekindled flame? Or maybe just a joke?Are you freaking kidding me here?? AAAAHHHH!! I took a breath, composed myself, and joked back with him in an effort to support him in his lofty endeavor. I thought that maybe I could call his bluff, if that's what it was. 

No dice. No word. No text. No contact. 

I mention this little story not to sadden or dishearten you, reader. Rather, I mention it as emblematic of the high levels of ridiculousness and unpredictability that exist out there in the dating world. We must always be on our toes. We must always be one step ahead. And always watch out for the hot, hot, panty-melting-ly hot guy who woos you, coos to you, and then tells you he's going monk. His loss.