Wait ... am I still dating?

So, new guy emailed me back and asked me out for a drink. Or, in the parlance of our time, wondered if I was "down". Huh.

Don't know if I'm "down" ... but ... after much thinking on the subject and soul searching (to be perfectly honest) I decided to accept his offer and wrote him back, saying I was, ahem, down. What caused me to do this? Well, Freckles and I haven't had a conversation about being exclusive yet. We've been seeing each other for about a month and have seen each other frequently in that short time, and as I've said 1000 times already, it's actually going well. He is out of town right now and though he said he'd call before he left, I sort of struggled to be hopeful and believed him contrary to my cynical, jaded instinct. But, much to my happiness, we've exchanged text messages practically everyday since he's been gone and he surprised me with a phone call Tuesday evening. I was feeling an acute sense of missing him at the moment he called ... it was as if he knew and then decided to assuage that feeling of sadness by telling me that he was about to go eat some tasty, homemade full fat delicious ice cream. Bastard. Anyway ... bottom line: it's going well and I hope it keeps going well so I figure having one drink with someone else won't derail anything. My main fear stems from my insane, superstitious side that maybe should be tested anyway so it shrivels and falls off.

Additionally, I figure that the chances of Freckles seeing me out with this guy are slim and if he does and then asks me about it, I can honestly say that I was out with a friend. Ok, ok, 60% Honesty, 40% Elastic. I mean, this guy isn't a love interest, or someone I'm dating, so a friend seems the next best description. So, the decision has been made and the email has been sent.

Now I'm nervous. Damn.

I agree with Anonymous who said that I should nurture and support my growing relationship with Freckles and I certainly do not intend for this fellow to disturb any part of that ... in fact, he asked me out for next Friday and I declined, saying I was busy so I could leave that time open for the possibility of seeing Freckles. I don't even know if he's free, of course, but he gets back Sunday and I'm hoping to see him as soon as possible after that and also hope that we can finally, finally have a stayover/lazy weekend morning/brunch of tasty, sweet treats. He has told me that his favorite thing to cook is chocolate chip pancakes. What, I'm sorry? How could I not be enchanted by this lovely man?

Does anyone else ever think that a relationship is like a series of tests? I guess I'm making that analogy in the same vein as comparing a first date to a job interview. Looking to fill the position of Boyfriend. Are you qualified? Take me to dinner and let's find out! I feel like so far those around me, and then because of that perspective to some degree I've taken this tack, have said that so far Freckles has passed all the tests. He asked for the second date, offered to make dinner on the third, didn't get overly handsy upon first physical interaction, wasn't upset or asshole-y when I declined to stay with him that first night. He's not regaled me with stories about XGFs, who he's still 'friends' with or displayed any instability personally, emotinally, or professionally. He reacted with intense interest after I emailed him not even a day after we'd parted about hanging out again. Most importantly: he has maintained contact while away with friends completing grueling feats of physical activity that are certainly exhausting and all consuming. So, everything's good. And I have no idea what to do with that. Nothing, I guess. Just enjoy it. Follow the advice of Anonymous, turn off the brain and turn on the heart.

And try, try, try, to wait patiently for Freckles' return to my city. Only four more days to go. During which I, too, will be heading out hither and yon to visit good, beautiful friends (and the cutest child in the world!!) who have moved to celebrate the birth of this, our country. God bless the BBQ, the road trip, good friends, and our 44th President, Barack Obama, all without whom this holiday would not be nearly as special and important.

Amen.